What a Five Years It's Been

Five years ago today, I came home and found my husband standing in the living room, waiting for me. And I knew. I just knew. He'd lost his job. We were newly married, had been married only 7 months, had bought a townhouse only 4 months prior, and now he was unemployed.

Terror struck. How were we going to pay our bills? Christmas was coming--how were we going to deal with that? What would become of us? Michael'd been trying to find a new job for months prior to losing his job with those jerks, and there was nothing.

I remember that the night after it happened, the church where I would go to choir practice was having a living nativity, and we went and I spent the night in tears--it was so beautiful. I remember taking great hope as we came around a bend, following our shepherd tour guides, and suddenly a swell of music and a flash of light and three angels stood on a hill in white, and I took such hope.

Eight months later, the unemployment was running out, we were in danger of losing our condo, our realtor was a real piece of work, and again, a ray of hope, a letter from Washington that Michael had a job.

If someone had told me this day five years ago not to worry about it, that in five years I'd own a full out house all to myself in Virginia, I'd have asked them what they were smoking. To a certain degree, I miss those days when we had so little money that we clung to each other and did not do anything that we couldn't do for free--except that we managed to squeak out a trip to Niagara Falls for our first wedding anniversary.

I know how much I take things for granted--our fine home, never really having to worry about the cost of a meal or if I need something I can go out and get it and not worry about it. In the coming year, I hope to re-shift my priorities and change some things. I want things to feel special again--meals out, getting a new camera or computer, and not just feel as if I can get "stuff" any time. I am reading a book at the moment called The Circle of Simplicity, which will, I hope, guide me on my way. I want to reconnect with people and disconnect from buying, buying, buying.

So, that's my New Year's plan for next year, along with a few other smaller goals, which I'll write about closer to time. And in a couple of weeks, I'll be attending another living nativity and hope it'll be just as moving as the first one.