Thursday, March 15, 2007

Is It Really Worth It?

Every few months I get an idea in my head that I need to change something physically to make myself feel better. I have been in a bitter stand-off with my hair for approximately 5 years now, due to several factors, and the whole diet and exercise thing is a real on-again, off-again love affair. But the other day, I looked in a mirror and tried to smile at myself and my mission was clear...

My latest attempt at self-improvement involves Crest White Strips. Or rather, the Walmart equivalent, since those little Crest puppies are PRICEY! I bought a 28 day program, and for the last 5 nights have been torturing myself with these things.

Now, I have no idea whose mouth these things are designed for. The strips are pretty large and the top strip has an extra "front teeth" added length which make me look like TomTom the Rabbit's long lost cousin Sue. The bottom strip slides all over the place--it's way too big and I can't figure out if the curved part goes up or down. When it's up, it doesn't cover my teeth, when it's down, it wiggles all over my mouth and cuts into the inside of my cheek.

I also purchased whitening toothpaste and ACT Restore mouthwash. The feds have only just waved their magic wands and granted us dental insurance after a two year hiatus, so we'll be making appointments soon. And I've been flossing twice daily.

I wish I could say this will last. But tonight, I was getting ready for bed when I spied the box of strips on the vanity and thought, "Oh shoot, I haven't whitened." So now I'm up for an extra half hour while I wait for my teeth to become as pearly white as Walmart can make them.

The taste is GROSS, and I'm supposed to avoid contact with skin and clothing. I just know this stuff can't be good for you, so I hope it improves my smile to some degree. It darned well better. All I hear is Didi Conn repeating, "Sandy, Sandy, beauty is pain!" in my head. Amen to that.

0 pearl(s) of wisdom: