Tuesday, August 07, 2007

The Sink Strikes Back

Ok, so, last week, I'm cleaning up the kitchen. Let me start by saying my house has never been cleaner than it is right now. Due to the fact that we never got any real cold this winter, the ants and bugs and critters have not been effectively killed off. In an effort to stave off infestation, I have cleaned house like you would not believe. You could lick my kitchen floor. (I would think you very strange, but you could do it!) We do have some ants trying to invade, so every night, I do a thorough clean of the dishes, the cabinets, table, counters, etc. I've thrown out every open food item in the house. It's insane.

But I digress.

So, last week, I'm cleaning up the kitchen, and I go to turn the faucet on, and I kid you not, the faucet literally flew off when I turned the handle. Water was shooting everywhere, including square up my nose, all over my new windows, and all over my clean counters, which I am also trying to keep dry, as I understand that during heat waves, bugs will come in in search of water.

Fortunately, this turned out to be an easy fix. I just screwed the faucet back on and presto, it was done.

Tonight, I'm cleaning up after dinner. I start running some water in the sink to rinse off the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher and I notice the sink is starting to fill a little bit. Ok, no problem, I'll hit the disposer. I flip the switch and nothing happens. So I say, "What happened to the disposer? It's not working!" My dad immediately jumps up, says "Uh oh" and heads for the basement. I should have known right then that the jig was up and I'd found my culprit, but I gamely follow him and we discover that all the circuits are fine, none had been tripped, everything was working. Ok, so I trip a few on and off just to be sure, go upstairs and flip the switch again. Nothing. But there is A LOT of water in the sink. So I think, "Well, maybe it's a little clogged, let's see what's in here."

I go to put my hand in the disposer, and my hand only goes in up to the first knuckle on the end of my finger. Mmm hmmm... I'm starting to get a clear picture now.

I feel something kind of funny, and I reach in and pull out: a coffee filter.

I said, "Dad, did you put a coffee filter in the disposal!?"

Dad sheepishly replies, "Um, yes."

Michael jumps in with, "GEORGE!"

I reach in again. I pull out a whole banana peel. I knew damned good and well it was his because bananas are number one on my most-hated-fruit list and Michael hasn't eaten any lately. I give Dad the eye and go back to trolling for treasure.

I reach down in there again and I feel what seems like a slimy brick wall. This is not good.

I kid you not, I pulled out the rind of half a honeydew melon. It had been crammed into that disposal like a slab of cement had been poured into it. It took me a good 5 minutes to clear it all out.

"Dad, you can't put a hard rind like this in the disposal!"

"Why not?!"

"Do you see the disposal not working?"


"THAT'S why not!"

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of."

I reach under the unit and hit the reset button and the disposal is back to working just fine. I could have about strangled my dad though!!! AUGH!

Hopefully the sink has concluded its revolt. If the disposal ever goes, I'm sunk. I live to disposal things. And since Mike and Dad are hellbent on destroying our new shredder (they literally shredded about 6 years worth of old bank statements and other documents and overheated it--they wound up with a full trash bag of shredded paper--and not a grocery sack either!), I'll kill them if the disposal goes down irreparably.

So chug on, little sink, I'm on your side.

2 pearl(s) of wisdom:

Lesley said...

Um, yeah ... that's why I have no interest in having a disposal. Plus, they scare me. I'm seriously in awe that you had the nerve to stick your fingers down there!

And knowing your Dad just as little as I do, none of this post surprises me!

BTW, speaking of bugs, last week I went down to the kitchen one morning and there was a two-inch long scorpion on the floor. Thankfully, it was dead! I guess the cats had some live entertainment that night.

Kate/Susan said...

Lesley, my dear, if I had a scorpion in my house, dead or alive, I'd move out till someone came and produced its bisected body to me in a glass jar. I'm in awe of your calm. Thank god for cats! :)