Resolutions and Revolutions

So here we are, 2010, a new decade and a new year. A lot of people were happy to see 2009 go, but as I thought about it, I really couldn't count myself among their number. Apart from my dad's heart attack and all the subsequent craziness stemming from that, 2009 was a great year for me. Of course, first and foremost, my daughter was born. She is my favorite person in the world, the true love and light of my life. I am blessed beyond measure to be able to spend every day with her, even the days I don't feel like being a mom she brightens with her brilliant smile.

I've also taken some serious steps in getting my mental house in order, getting my head screwed on tight. With the help of a truly great counselor, I spent the last 3 months of 2009 talking, hashing through a lot of issues, and ultimately triumphing over a lot of things that previously held me back. Notably, interpersonal communication and anxiety. I will always be on the quiet side, but I'm not going to be a doormat any more. I am still struggling a bit with how I will take better care of myself versus everyone else, but at least I'm more in touch with my personal needs even if I ignore them half the time. I've been more or less discharged from the sessions, will be going about once a month now instead of weekly, and I'm excited about that. It's been a really interesting process, I did a lot better than I would have expected, but it turns out I was a lot more motivated than I thought I was.

To that end, I'll be working on 2 day planner/journal type things. I bought a day planner called Listopia that gives you a list per week to make, some serious (this week's was *duh* what I want to accomplish this year; there is one week you list every movie you could watch over and over again), and I intend to keep a gratitude list on each day in addition to jotting down events as they arise. (How exciting is it to look less than 2 weeks ahead and see "Leave for Atlanta" written down?) I've also picked up The Happy Book, as one of the themes from my counselor is a need for me to figure out exactly what makes me happy and increase the happiness in my life. Not that I'm not happy, but couldn't we all be happier? This sweet little book has prompts, activities, journaling space, etc. I'll be working on that.

I also have a lot of "What's next?" questions floating around in my mind, so part of my goals for this year will be to think about a personal 5 year plan and a family 5 year plan. I know that Leah will not need me in this capacity forever, and the first year of her life is already almost behind us, so I need to think forward. What do I want to do? Do I want to go back to school? Re-enter the workforce? Switch careers? It's exciting, confusing, and a bit frightening all at once. I'm mostly excited to think about it, however.

Michael and I have also discussed adding to the family down the line, and we've both agreed we'd like to give foster care a shot in the future. To that end, we decided we needed to get some experience with teenagers and we have applied to host an exchange student this fall. We have our eye on a 15 year old from Germany named Caroline, and we have applied to host her for a year. What appeals to me most about her is that she is an avid reader and says she will read anything. Providing we are matched, I'll be bringing her to book club :-)

Of course the big elephant in the room, will I get back to my fitness and weight loss goals? The short answer is YES I WILL! My goal is to return to Weight Watchers on January 23rd, which will allow me to have a final fling in Atlanta without worrying about counting points, etc. while on vacation (although Mike and Lesley have turned into such fitness gurus, maybe I won't have to count so much as just eat what they eat!) and then get back to it. I would like to try and lose 50 pounds this year. I know have gained some back since becoming a SAHM, it's very easy to just sort of graze through the days, but I really would like to get back on track and get going again. I will be returning to the Saturday morning meetings, as that worked very well for me, but I won't go back at 6:30am, I'll probably go to the 8:30 meetings. Michael is back on board too, so we'll both be working out together after Leah's bedtime, which is good, because it's much easier to have a partner to support you locally in addition to all the wonderful support I've received from friends far and wide!

Of course I've already outlined my reading goals for the year. In terms of a number, well, I read 69 books last year, I would like to hit 75 this year. It could be tricky because Leah is already TONS more active than she used to be, and I know it will only get crazier as she is really close to being mobile and I'll be plucking her off the stairs and chasing her down the driveway in no time flat, I'm sure. But I've taken up watching a lot more TV, which I really don't like--I've never considered myself a TV watcher--so I'm going to limit my viewing to 4 shows (LOST, Project Runway, Clean House, and Hoarders) and the TV will be off the rest of the time. Adding in exercise time and more reading time will take up most of my free time in the evenings anyway.

Travel for the year? Atlanta in January, North Carolina in February, New York in March (reuniting with my best friends from high school! That should be interesting!), hopefully Myrtle Beach in May, probably back to NY for a quick trip in June for my dad's retirement, Rhode Island in August, Florida in October (my mom's turning 60!). With Caroline in tow, hopefully we will make it so she can see most of the east coast during her year here, and maybe we'll get somewhere a little more exciting as well (maybe for her spring break in 2011). We hope to see Russell and Amy and Annette someday somewhere in 2010, and lots of visits with Mike and Lesley again.

And finally, I will be re-instating the FLY Lady system into our lives. I want to be able to walk into a clean house all the time, and the system really worked when we lived in Centreville. The idea of not going into a total panic when company is due really appeals to me. Just keeping on top of everything is what I need to do. And I will do it!

So that's how 2010 is shaping up! Today we will drop off Joe at home and then I will start getting the house cleaned up from the holidays--I am really looking forward to getting my house back! I can't believe the amount of cleaning I did pre-Christmas and it looks like I did NOTHING. UGH. But in 15 minute increments, we'll get it done for sure. :-) Michael's hard at work with the laundry, Leah is napping, and I'm going to go get dressed!

Happy New Year Everyone!