On the Horns of a Dilemma

So far this week, I've been to Fairfax twice, once on Monday for work and once today for a doctor's appointment. I'm due to go back up north on Friday evening because Joe's mom is coming to town and we are all going to dinner together Friday night up in Alexandria. And then on Saturday, we have the National Book Festival. However, I'm supposed to come home Friday night to a) bring the General home and b) go to my WW meeting on Saturday morning. All told, this will put approximately 360+ miles on my car, not to mention gas. But I *love* going to the book festival.

Tonight I get home from work and there is an email in my mailbox. Barack Obama and Joe Biden will be in Fredericksburg on Saturday. I desperately want to go.

And frankly, there's no one at this year's book festival that really makes my heart go pitter pat. Last year's line up, to me, was MUCH better. The only person I'd like to meet this year is Geraldine Brooks, and she's in the "like to meet" category, not the "dying to meet" category like Jodi Picoult last year.

So I have two options.

1. Go to the book festival in the morning, get there by 10, leave by noon, get back to the 'burg by 2 and get to the gates when they open at 3.

2. Skip the whole rigamarole running around up north and just go to the rally.

Added to this is that I've invited my officemate Kris to come with me, and I really, truly, and desperately need to bitch about work with someone. Seriously. It's coming down to "here's my 3 months notice" time. I wish I had the balls to do it.

Well, I think the choice is clear. I think I'm going to do the unthinkable and bag the book festival. But there's a little piece of me that just isn't sure yet... HELP! Decisions, decisions...

Confusion

Received this in an email a couple times from friends over the past week. It's good. Very good.

I'm a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight.....

If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you're 'exotic, different.' But if you grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, you’re a quintessential American story.

If your name is Barack you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim. But if you name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you're a maverick.

Graduate from Harvard Law School and you are unstable. But attend 5 different small colleges in six years before graduating, you're well-grounded.

If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first Black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience.

If, on the other hand your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive.

If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian. But if you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month (before your divorce was even final), you're a Christian.

If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society. But if, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you're very responsible.

If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America's. But if your husband is nicknamed 'First Dude,' with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.

OK, much clearer now.

A Little Note to The Government

Dear Uncle Sam:

I am a law abiding, tax paying citizen of this land. I pay my bills on time, including the taxes on my property, my car, my income. I put money aside each month, trying to save for emergencies. I don't loan money out to people I know to be risky in terms of paying me back. I've been paying my federal student loans since I left college in 1997. I pay my mortgage on time, credit card bills, the car payment, my ridiculous medical expenses. I pay the kid who cuts my lawn. I buy gas for half the universe--the truckers who haul the things that I buy in stores, the freight operators who fly my mail around, hell, I was on the hook for gas for my social worker if it came to that. I have worked my ass off for years in a fairly thankless job to pay back that "free" graduate school ride you "gave" me.

And I've been doing it, mostly without complaint. I figure I'm lucky not to live in a hurricane-stricken area of the country right now. I figure I'm lucky to be able to afford these things.

But I didn't get here from being stupid. I didn't get here from taking risks where there wasn't a pretty good chance of a decent pay off.

But today, today I woke up and I saw where you bailed out another sinking ship to the tune of billions of dollars. Some of which are MY dollars, thank you. And I don't even get a say so. So I'd like to make a proposal to you.

I propose that you give me a bail out. It's getting kind of hard out here. I've cut back on a lot of things. My husband and I eat out once a week MAYBE, and even then only if I'm too exhausted to even put something in the microwave. I've switched to buying generic drugs, foods, household products. My rabbit even eats generic pet food. My husband and I have given up on taking our weekend drives in the country. We skipped Myrtle Beach this year. And still, I have to say, it's getting to be a struggle. We've trimmed the fat. What's left to trim? Oh, we're not hurting, per se, but we could--and in my opinion, should--be doing better.

So I want my cut. After all, I'm not proposing to put thousands of employees out of work from my own stupidity. I haven't behaved in such a manner that is causing global turmoil in the financial markets. Shouldn't there be a reward for good behavior?

I'm tired. I'm tired of getting up every day and going to work and doing good and basically getting pennies for it--and all because the people in government don't seem to think that my chosen field deserves reimbursement from medical insurance. I'm tired of hearing that our budget has been slashed and having to explain to doctors that I can no longer afford to pay for an exam for a client with no insurance.

My two big vacations this year? Both will be spent with my family, one on the road and one here at home. When was the last time one of these corporate big wigs took a vacation that didn't involve island hopping, seeing the continenet, maybe cruising the Amazon, or wasting away in Tahiti?

So, I've tried to decide what would be fair. I don't need $85 billion--who does? (AIG, I know, I know.) Hell, I don't need $1 billion. I'm going to make you an offer. How about a cool, tax free even million dollars? And here's what you'll get for your investment in me:

1. I'll pay off my student loans once and for all. So see? You're already getting money back.

2. I'll pay off my mortgage. See? More money that will probably directly benefit you by helping out the banks.

3. I'll pay off my car loan. Ditto number two: helping out the bank.

4. With what's left of the rest of the cash, I'll quit my job, and take one hell of a vacation. To make it fair, I'll stay inside the US. I will spend money in restaurants, on car rentals, maybe even on a plane ticket. I will rent a cottage or a condo on the beach and I will not lift a single finger for myself. I will pay some people to do it for me. Think of the boost for the suffering tourism trade!

5. And then my husband will, knowing him, probably go back to work. We'll go back to paying our income taxes, our Social Security taxes, our property taxes, our car taxes, our utilities, and all the rest of it. So you're still going to make some money off of us. Probably more now that we won't be able to deduct the interest from our mortgage. You're still winning! Though us adopting might put a little cramp in your style in terms of how much money you might get back--an extra deduction or two will hardly be noticed though, right?

It is my completely unstudied opinion on the matter that if you gave most sensible Americans a good dose of cash (what the hell was $1200 supposed to do for us in today's economy?), we would probably use it in ways that would boost the economy and help out the ailing financial system--paying off credit card bills, mortgages, car loans, medical debts, tax debts. Of course there are yahoo's out there who will blow the entire million on cigarettes and beer, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't going to maybe finally own a hot little convertible with a little chunk of the cash (one wants to look stylish cruising the beach), but for the most part, I think you would find people paying off bills and making their lives more comfortable. The money would flow up, these companies would stabilize, and we could call it even.

So whaddaya say? Do you have a cool million for me? If so, you know where I live. Check my last tax return. The address is the same.

Yard Saling

This Saturday is our first attempt at holding a yard sale since moving here. We are attempting to raise some much needed capital for the adoption fees. I don't know how the hell we're going to get it all set up--we have a bunch of junk already and no real tables or anything to put stuff on. Judy and Lucas will be coming down to help out with it, but if anyone else is free on Saturday and wants to take pity on me, please feel free to drop over :) And also if you have any "stuff" you want to get rid of and don't mind donating, please let me know. You can either bring it over or I can try to pick it up tomorrow or Wednesday. I'll be in Fairfax tomorrow and Wednesday mornings and in Fredericksburg tomorrow and Wednesday evenings. Thursday evening I am committed to picking up a futon and mattress from Judy and Lucas's place, thus signaling the end of my Sunday stayovers, as "my" bed is up for sale on Saturday and I'll have nowhere to sleep over there. The end of an era... Sad, but happy...

Anyway, anything we don't sell will be offered on Freecycle first and then we'll donate whatever's left to the local Hospice thrift store. So your goodies and mine will all go to a great cause regardless of what happens to it!

The sale is Saturday from 9:00AM till ???

(X-Posted to BRB blog)

Tubing Antietam

So yesterday was the day... A month or so ago, I had posted a link to a site where you could learn more information about a tubing trip to Antietam. Voted best summer outdoor activity by Washingtonian Magazine, River & Trail Outfitter's tubing ride is 4-5 hours in length along the spring-fed stream, and I was very excited to go.

We had a group of 6 of us who were interested. Then Melissa's allergies prohibited her from going. Then Elizabeth and her hubby had to cancel. And then it looked like we were going to get thunderstorms. So, Tom, Michael and I talked it over on Friday evening and decided maybe we shouldn't go either. However, on their website, Tom noticed that there had to be 48 hours notice before you cancelled, so we were all a bit nervous about losing our money.

I got back from my WW meeting yesterday at 8 and called over to R&T to see if the tubes were still going despite the poor weather that was called for. John announced that they weren't expected to get storms, so we decided to go. A quick call to wake Tom up and we were on our way.

It was a very quick 2 hour ride from our house up to Knoxville, MD and the place was VERY easy to find--literally right off a main highway. We arrived and signed in, Michael cracking up the girl at the counter when we signed the "you are not holding R&T responsible for injuries" form by stating, "Well, I guess if I go blind today, it's all my fault." hahaha

We were directed down to the back, where we parked and climbed up on the little patio of the raft house and sat there. The people who worked there were scurrying about, loading buses with supplies. A man came over and introduced himself as Larry, stating he was the tubing guide along with his son Travis. So, we introduced ourselves and he asked us if we had any medical conditions. Ooooh boy. Now the fun begins, I thought. So, I pointed to Michael and Larry noticed the hearing aids and we set about making arrangements for them--we have a little waterproof tube for them and Larry said he'd put that in the first aid kit, which is supposed to be waterproof, and tuck the whole thing in his dry bag. Then we turn to the question of, "How's your vision? Any problem there?"

Ummm, yeah. And perhaps for a millisecond, there was a sense of panic that flitted across Larry's face. But only for the tiniest fraction of a second. Then he went in search of a rope, announcing that they'd lash our two tubes together so I could guide Michael down the river. Fine by me!

So they get that all set up, and then Larry comes back to ask about our lunch preferences. I started praying. As it turns out, the typical fare for these things is chicken, potato salad, and watermelon. I rather forcefully said to my husband, "You WILL eat chicken, RIGHT!?" He agreed to eat the chicken. We had left the house without him eating breakfast, so I knew he'd be hungry, but I also knew he wasn't eating potato salad and watermelon.

Finally everyone else arrived and we got ready to roll. We were on the bus and it turned out one of the guys on the bus was a vegetarian, so it was decided he'd eat Michael's salad and fruit and Michael would eat his chicken. WOO HOO!

We got the drop off point, and there was a fairly steep drop down to where we entered the creek. Larry went in front, I went in back, and we were able to get the General down in pretty short order. Our tubes were tossed down, lashed together, and we sat in them and went on down the river. And then a brief moment of panic crossed my face as I thought "Well, ooooooooookay, we're on our own, where the hell are we going!?"

Fortunately, Travis hopped in his canoe and adeptly caught up with us, giving our tubes a few pushes to keep us going. And in no time, the rest of the group had caught up with us. Then, a glitch. We got beached, Michael's tube stuck up on the bank and mine out in the water. And I could not explain to him that he needed to kick his feet out and push us off--mostly because he couldn't hear too much of what I was saying. So, the group floated past us, and then Larry glided up in his canoe and asked me if it wouldn't be easier if I had an oar? Well, sure, I figured, why not? I'm probably pretty handy with an oar. I grew up in canoe country, did some canoeing growing up, sure, I'll take an oar. I'll just use it to keep us away from branches and the banks and stuff.

Thus began a day like I have never had. I was using that oar for just about everything. Larry went behind us, since we spent most of our time going down backwards for some reason, and now and again, he'd say, "Susan, you've got a rock ahead" (no, not a rock head!) and I would look back, size up the situation, paddle with the oar a bit, and we'd make it around. The first time was pretty impressive. By the fifth or sixth time, Larry proclaimed, "You're pretty adept with that paddle." By the 20th or 30th time, Larry said, "If this was an Olympic sport, you'd have gold medal written all over you."

Because, you see, I was paddling with one oar while lying flat on my back in an innertube, shooting backwards, with the General in a second tube attached to me as essentially dead weight.

Before lunch, I only managed to smack him in the head once with the paddle. (I know Mike and Lesley are laughing about this--it turns out I'm really good at smacking him in the head completely accidentally with things like oars and doors and such!) The only real downside was that while we were drifting along, I started feeling like I was sinking a little bit. I looked down and the valve was open on my tube. Oops. So we plugged it back up and it was actually a bit more comfortable that way--I didn't have to hold my head up, I could just sort of sink into it.

We had lunch, and it was SO GOOD. I figured I was working out pretty good, so I just gave up and said, "Screw it, I'm eating what I want." I had 2 pieces of chicken, plus a glob of potato salad and a piece of watermelon. Michael decided to stage a hunger strike, which appeared to be about breaking Larry's heart, so I shoved a chicken leg into his hand and commanded him: EAT! He finished that one and Larry came by to find it if he wanted more. I said, "Give him another leg, Larry." Which he did and which the General ate. He was in my army now!

After lunch, we still had half the trip to go, so they loaded the General and I up and we started downstream again. This half of the trip was a bit more treacherous--many more rapids and obstacles to get around and under--I personally LOVED going under the low hanging tree branches. It was nice to be so close to nature that you could see the walking sticks, etc. right over your nose.

I was conserving my strength and Larry continued to guide me as to what to do, which direction to aim for, etc. As I was resting, I had my paddle laying straight down from my gut to my toes, not unlike Boromir when they send him over the falls. And I thought, "This is how I want to go--totally at peace with a paddle in my hand in case anyone gets out of line."



As we neared the end, I started really sinking in the water and we discovered the valve on my tube had yet again, come loose. And we were facing the final and long stretch of rapids. I was laying in water up to my waist. We closed the valve up again, and then the fun began--we were shooting the rapids (Class One, rather tame), my ass was dragging and hitting every damned rock in the creekbed, I'm trying to steer, Larry's attempting to give me direction, and the General is getting soaked from the splashing and got a paddle to the head again.

We reached the end of the first stretch and Larry was like, "You're down pretty low, try to get your feet under you and reposition the air in the tube." So I stuck my foot down, the General's tube promptly beached itself on the rock that was holding my foot in place, and held my foot at a funny angle, jammed between him and the tube. For the only time, I yelled "YOWCH!" and paddled his tube off.

I managed to get back on the tube somewhat and stayed on the rest of the way. We got to the end point and Larry and Travis pulled us in. Shooting the rapids was a BLAST, despite my butt taking the brunt of it. Larry got one of the other men on the trip to help him get Michael up the fairly steep hill back up to where the bus was going to pick us all up, and then Tom and I grabbed the tubes and headed up. And of course, the General made it up fine and dandy, and me, who is Miss Jellylegs anyway, fell.

We got back to the River and Trail Outfitters HQ and Larry threw his arms around me in a big bear hug and said he'd never seen anything like what I'd just done. I'll be honest, that boosted my self-confidence up about 300 light years. And I think it really boosted Michael's confidence that he was able to get up that hill at the end. He kept saying, "I can't believe I made it up that embankment. Did you see me go up that embankment?" Oh yes, I sure did, and it was amazing that he did it--it was at about a 60 degree angle from the beach, seemed like it was straight up! So I was really proud of him, and it shows how much progress he and I have made in the few short months we've been working on our health.

We got back at 5pm to the HQ and then were home by 7:00. The General was out like a light by 8:30 and I was done and sleeping before 9:00. We are both a little sore this morning, but we're both raving about doing it again.

The trip was so peaceful and at the same so exciting, it just felt so good to go and I'm thrilled we did decide to go after all. The three of us had a wonderful time and I am definitely, definitely, definitely (that's three definitelies) going to do it again next summer. Hopefully we can get more people into it next year! :-)

Go to www.rivertrail.com to set up your own trip (I don't mind advertising for them--they were 100% amazing, every step of the way).

(Oh, and I got on the scale this morning, and despite fried chicken, potato salad, and 2 McD's burgers yesterday, I lost 2 pounds in the scope of yesterday's activities. I'll take it and run!)

Mark Your Calendar, Sweeties

The date of the 2nd Annual Kosior Fall Fun Festival is October 25th. We'll go out to Belvidere for the corn maze, hay ride, kettle corn, etc., carve pumpkins and make donuts and drink cider at home, and whatever else suits our fancy...

Be there or be square.

If you want to read about last year's fall fun festival, click HERE. The above picture was the pumpkins we made last year. You can see more pictures HERE.

Bwahahaha

So funny! Thanks, Bri.

Knee!

Today I was discharged from PT officially until further notice! WOO HOO! My knee feels so much better. I'll be seeing the orthopedist in a couple weeks to check on the situation, but I probably won't have to go back, and I'm so happy. I will have my life back! It's been good to go, but at the same time, I'm glad not to have 2 nights a week taken up with it. I have a life, ya know.

So I'm back to ship shape, and probably even better. But it was very interesting to see the way the process works and how they get you moving again. I enjoyed it. And I'll enjoy not going too.

Introducing A Brand New Way to Injure Yourself

Yesterday, I was shucking corn, getting ready for our BBQ with the Stanley Clan. I was just sitting there, minding my own business, shucking away, and all of a sudden one of the husks literally cut a deep freakin' gash right down my finger!! And did it ever bleed! I honestly thought I might need to have stitches, but since I am not a stitch person, I decided against it. I applied direct pressure for about 10 minutes and finally just gummed it up with liquid bandage and neosporin.

It hurt!!!!

Who knew corn husks could be so evil?

Thank You, Sugar Bear

So this weekend was exciting--I ditched the WW lifestyle for one night and one night only and the General (aka Sugar Bear--he needed a food related nickname to fit in with me, The Dumpling, and Shortcake) took me to the Melting Pot last night for my birthday. We double dated with Doug and Jacalyn, who are celebrating their wedding anniversary.

This was my third trip there, the last one being in February (again with Doug and Jacalyn) and the one before that my birthday last August. Oh man was it GOOD...

Jacalyn requested a 2 burner table, since we only had 1 burner in February and it seemed a bit of a rip off that we couldn't have 2 pots of fondue. When we arrived, we discovered they had put us at a private table in a private "room"--the sole table behind the wine rack in the bar. There was no one else around. I discovered when I got up to find the restroom that the rest of the restaurant was hopping and NOISY, but we were in our own little oasis back there and it was awesome.

And we got 2 pots of fondue, not one. For our main fondue, Jacalyn and I got the spinach and artichoke fondue (which The General tried and actually really liked!) and Doug and The General got the cheddar fondue. We all got salads (since we were paying for it, I wanted to take the General's salad home with me for today, since I am going to be eating salad all week to make up for last night--haha). And then it was time for the main event... LOBSTER TAILS, FILET MIGNON, SHRIMP, and of course, Jacalyn's and my personal favorite: mushroom caps. They make this delicious cream cheese based sauce thing and when you cook up your mushrooms and stuff them with that cream cheese, it is oh-so-good. And since the General is not hot on mushrooms, we got 'em all to ourselves... Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

Dessert was fantastic. We got the flaming turtle fondue and the smores fondue. Dippers were strawberries, rice krispie treats, pound cake, brownies, marshmallows, and cheesecake. It was so good, it was sick.

I literally did not feel well when we got home. It's been a long time since I've eaten rich food like that. But I didn't care. It was worth every tasty nibble that I felt ill afterwards. Next month's dessert fondue special is cherries jubilee--cherries and dark chocolate. We might have to go over there just for dessert. They are having a day to sponsor St. Jude's hospital and it might be nice to go then. We'll have to see.

Man is that place the best... The services was not spot on last night, but we had 2 managers in and out constantly checking on us, so that was good. And we can win free fondue for a year with our little comment cards, so that's cool too! You bet we'll be filling out those.

Today I'll be eating salad and working hard on the back bedroom. And then tomorow we're having a little BBQ with the Stanley clan, which will be fun. And then Tuesday is Richmond day--final interviews, lawyer meeting, baby stuff! So we've really crammed it in this weekend. :-)

Happy Labor Day everyone!

Fun Name Meme

From R. W.

1.Your rock star name (first pet, current car)
Lady Caliber (Love it!)

2.Your gangsta name (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite type of shoe)
Cherry Garcia Crocs

3.Your Native American name (favorite color, favorite animal)
Green Panda (Sounds more like a superhero than a Native American name)

4.Your soap opera name (middle name, city where you were born)
Katherine Star Lake

5.Your Star Wars name (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 of your first name)
KosSu

6.Superhero name (2nd favorite color, favorite drink)
Pink Lemonade (hahahaha)

7.NASCAR name (the first names of your grandfathers)
Richard George (Sounds like a real Nascar name!)

8.Dancer name (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy)
Isis Reese (I'm abbreviating Reese's PB Cups to something more last name sounding)

9.TV weather anchor name (your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter)
Collins Chicago

10.Spy name (your favorite season/holiday, flower)
Christmas Rose

11.Cartoon name:(favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now)
Strawberry Tee

12.Hippie name (what you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)
Eggo Weeping Willow

13.Movie star name (first pet, first street where you lived)
Lady River

Whoever else wants to do this, have fun!

A Look At Politics

To me, this video pretty much says it all about political punditry in the now. Enjoy.

Still Here

Nothing interesting going on in general. My cat, Buster, is sick with kidney stones. I closed the cover on book #80 on the year last night. I'm re-reading the Stephanie Plum books because they make me laugh. Laugh so hard that when I'm reading in bed, I wake up the General.

Still plugging along on Weight Watchers and the adoption. Looking forward to the long weekend. Blah blah.

Oh, and I'm a year older than I was 3 days ago :-) Hard to believe I am now magic 33. I'm an OLD LADY. But my birthday was fun, complete with Carvel cake. Woo hoo!

Work is crazy, clients are crazy, life is, in a word, crazy. But I'm on an upward swing again mentally after a long dark period of about 4 months, and it feels good.

Woo Hoo!

So on Sunday I was doing some shopping at Walmart for our adoption meeting on Friday (we needed fire extinguishers, etc.). I was heading past the electronics department and I decided I'd just have a look-see about Wii Fit. As I drew close, I noticed a fat lot of white boxes. Drawing even closer, I saw WII FIT as large as life. I hadn't even passed the Keeper of the Keys, so I asked her, "Can I buy that Wii Fit please?" And she obliged.

I felt shiny as a new penny when that thing was paid for and in my cart. I have been looking high and low since they came out, even contemplating paying extra for it on Ebay to get my hands on it. But I kept telling the General, "I suspect that I'm just going to walk in somewhere and get randomly lucky finding it."

And I was right. Who knew?

So I brought it home and figured the whole thing out--more synching with the Wii and putting the little feet on it for use on carpeting, etc. But man, is it ever fun! And just a wee bit insulting too. After it did my BMI and weight, it blew my Mii up like a balloon, and I yelled at it, "Hey! I've lost 30 pounds!" The Wii scoffed at me.

After an hour's worth of play, it basically kicks you off, telling you to rest. And it also told me I'm not strong enough to do yoga yet.

The genius behind it, though, is that the more you play, the more exercises it unlocks. You start out with only 3 or 4 per section (balance, strength, aerobics, yoga) and as you play more and more, it adds a new selection to one section or another. You also get a little piggy bank with the number of minutes played, graphs that show what you've unlocked and that chart your progress weight and activity wise. And it can all be password protected if you don't want others to be able to access your information.

The General was even able to get on it and create an account.

So far, I am loving the balance games--especially the ski jump. I also turn out to be a crack hula hooper. The step routine is a challenge, however! And I apparently, as I mentioned, suck at Yoga, except for the deep breathing.

So, I look forward to having a lot of fun with it and seeing myself improve day to day. I've been adding it to my other exercise, and it sure beats sitting around trying to figure out what to do besides sitting around.

I Take Umbrage With That, Sir

Mr. Talmadge Gleck, you have created a monster.

Prior to meeting you, the words "Fountain Dew" were never a part of our vernacular.

It's official.

Fountain Dews are a part of our way of life now.

And if the WaWa is not obliging, we bring home a couple cans of Dew and pour them into a plastic cup.

It makes them taste better, apparently.

Thank you.

A Nice Treat

It's been a nice time for me while the General has been away. I feel like the prettiest girl at the dance--several invitations to come over to people's homes, etc. Yesterday, though, I had the most fun: Cindy and Manda brought over their little ones for a couple of hours and we all got to spend some time together. It was nice in a smaller group to get to know Cindy and Manda and it was a lot of fun to watch the little ones in action.

I had forgotten how at that age the entire world is a giant playground with your name written directly upon it. Honestly, if someone had told me 2 two-year-olds were coming to play at my house and asked me what I thought would be the most fun for them to play with here, I would never have selected the living room curtains. But those curtains were the hit of the afternoon.

I figured I would observe so I would have a good idea of how to baby-proof our house, and both Cindy and Manda gave me helpful hints. So did Ada and Alex. Particularly when they decided to hurl themselves over the back of the couch and slide headfirst onto the floor, narrowly avoiding my metal and glass coffee table.

I also learned such valuable lessons as "Ceiling fans and mylar balloons don't play well together" and "if a bunny doesn't say 'meow', he must surely say 'woof woof'" and "if there's a bowl of sand and seashells on a table, it is clearly intended for me to play in and possibly sprinkle liberally around the room unless I am forced to stop prematurely by the big meanies on the couch".

To be sure, Baby Willa imparted some nice lessons too, such as "all breasts are created equal" and that I really just want a 6 month old forever. :-)

Hope we can do it again sometime soon! And "Happy Birthday, Alex!!!!" He turns 2 today.

Anyone Interested?

Calling all my friends in the DC area.

Anyone want to go tubing the weekend after Labor Day? Check out this website:

http://www.rivertrail.com/TubingAC.html

I would really love to go, and if anyone else is interested, I think it would be a fun group activity. It's also pretty reasonably priced, considering they throw in a lunch.

Let me know!

FYI

I don't know what is going on with my various blog rolls. Sometimes I'm on my blog and they're working, sometimes they aren't working. I went to "Help" but didn't really see much of anything about the issue. Bramble River Baby was updated today. Other than that, I can't tell you much!

Reasons Why I Love My Husband

Each day, Michael and I try to name at least 3 things the other person did that day as a reason why we love them. Lately, he's been pulling some real doozies, and these will endure far beyond the day he said them and make me love him more.

The other day we were having a conversation about something and he said, "Susan, your husband is real precocious." And we got to our interview with the social worker and he tells her, "I'm a bit of a handful."

Hahaha I love that. And I love my precocious handful of a husband. :-)

Laissez-les manger le gateau!

You Are a Chocolate Cake

Fun, comforting, and friendly. You are a true classic, and while you're not super cutting edge, you're high quality. People love your company - and have even been known to get addicted to you.

What Kind of Cake Are You?

Ugh!

I had a gift card to Barnes and Noble and usually they have unabridged audio books for about $8, which meant I could get 3 of them. I picked up Ali Smith's The Accidental because I like to read audio books I can't escape from. When I'm reading reading, I can get away from a book I don't like, but when you're stuck in the car for hours and it's that book or whatever craptastic radio station you can find, the audio book looks pretty good. Which is how I got through Kerouac's On the Road earlier this year.

I'd tried reading The Accidental a while ago and couldn't get into it. So I started reading the audiobook. And while the beginning is definitely difficult, I was totally into it.

So I finish the first 4 CD's and I reach into the box and pull out the next set, and guess what? It's discs 1-4 again. I have 2 sets of discs 1-4 and none of 5-8. AUGH! So now I'm going to have to go back to B&N next time I'm up north and try to get the situation rectified and if they can't fix it, I'll have to try calling the publisher.

Dangit, though, man! Magnus just got extremely lucky, several times, and I want to know what's going to happen.

Plus, this is the first audio book I've read with an ensemble cast, and I REALLY like it! Here's hoping it won't be too long before I can find out the ending.

Oops

I missed a very imporant anniversary earlier this year.

April 6, 2003, a date I couldn't remember, but a day I will never forget.

It was the day the stars aligned and I met two of the most important people in my life. Mike and Lesley.

Yeah, I'm going to get mushy, so if you don't want read any more, buzz off. (And I mean that in the nicest way possible)

It was kind of a miserable day outside, chilly and a bit damp in Massachusetts, but a fellow by the name of "Blackstone Val" was running a meet in Uxbridge, MA for geocachers. I decided to go, since I was pretty new to geocaching and didn't have a freakin' clue what to do with my GPS. Michael decided to stay home and continue on with his job hunt, geocaching being a "Cookies thing" so I headed out on my own.

I distinctly remember roaring into the visitors' center in my old Grand Marquis. I was running a bit late and I hate being late. I pulled in next to a little VW and as I was getting out, so were the couple in the VW next to me. I gave the female half what I hoped was a fairly friendly smile despite how harried I was feeling and made tracks to the center, where attendees were being given a lecture on how to use a compass. And I thought, "Jeez, have I made a huge mistake? A compass seems kind of low tech. Am I in the wrong place?"

And at the very moment I was considering cutting and running, Lesley strolled over to me, looking as confused as I felt and said, "Is this the geomeet?" and I think I replied with, "I thought so, but they seem to be using compasses."

So we hung around for a while listening and then eventually the coordinators handed out some worksheets with some instructions for where to find caches, but I think you were supposed to use the compass to find them, not the GPS. Well, it was now or never, sink or swim, fish or cut bait.

I had come to the meet hoping to meet people. First of all, geocaching is a lot of fun, but I don't like going myself. I got lost in the woods once for an hour and a half while geocaching solo, and I was so freaked out that I was like, "Uh, never again." Secondly, New Englanders are famously stoic and reserved and it's very difficult to meet people there. Sure, I knew Michael's family and a couple of his friends, but other than that, the only people I knew were people from work. So as the party was breaking up and everyone was heading out to find the caches, I knew I had not come to stomp the marshes of Uxbridge solo. So, having already exchanged 14 words between us, and them looking as lost as I felt, I screwed up my courage, stepped out of my happy little shell, and asked if they'd mind if I hung out with them.

Happily, the answer was yes, they would be happy to have me along. And we spent the afternoon together, having fun, finding stuff with a compass, being fairly grossed out by the dead fish, making jokes about the PCPs in the water, etc. And Mike snapped the above picture of Lesley and me standing near one of the polluted streams. :-)

We exchanged emails and AIM names and said farewell.

When I got home that night, I couldn't stop talking about them. I was so excited to have made some friends after 3 years. We all got in touch again via AIM and three weeks later, they travelled to Acton so we could go geocaching again, this time in the pouring rain for hours. Then they came over to our place to meet Michael. The date was April 26th.

It turned out we all had a whole lot in common and spent that time traveling between Acton and Providence and other exotic ports of call. My two favorites were Rockport, where we had 17 dollar lobsters at the Lobster Pool restaurant and Plymouth, where we inadvertantly had lunch in a restaurant my grandparents had taken me to when they had taken my sister and I to Boston as teenagers. The drinks were not free refills and the 2 Mikes were going through soda like, well, water, and the tab was nice and hefty when we finished up. We still laugh about finding a place with free refills when we go out together.


(Can you guess from this picture who are the Yankees and who's from down south?)

Well, we moved to Virginia shortly thereafter, and then Mike and Lesley moved to North Carolina and then again to Atlanta. The days when we were but an hour apart... Maybe someday...

But it's been a hell of a five years for all of us since we first met. And they have made the bad times not seem so bad and the good times seem even better.

Lauren recently blogged about how it sucks that her best friend is so far away and how it's hard to not have any close girlfriends and it got me to thinking about just how much I miss having Mike and Lesley nearby. Lesley gave me someone to share my love of England and high tea with, the two Mikes can share their love of the 99 Restaurant and chicken wings. Lesley and I read, the two Mikes do computer stuff. And I will always remember Mike W. as being the one guy who loved that Grand Marquis as much as I did.

Just wanted to say "Thanks" publicly. You guys are the best. Can't wait till we get together again soon. Miss you and love you both.

Pictures

I didn't manage to get anything great, but here are the few pictures I did score! Hope you enjoy.

Book MeMe from Melissa

I've been tagged by Melissa to do a book-related meme this morning, and it's a tough one!

Books are scarce in the world. They are illegal in some provinces. They are not easily replaced if not impossible to replace if lost in many if not most circumstances. If you can replace a book or buy one it is usually through the black market at astronomical costs that you cannot afford. Yet you have been able to maintain one of the best collections in the world. If your entire library was about to burn up (think of the firefighters in Fahrenheit 451 invading your home) and you could only have one* book to take with you other than the bible, what would that be and why?

Simple Rules
Answer the question. Offer one quote that resonates with you. Tag five people whose response is of genuine interest to you and inform him or her that they have been tagged. Cheers!

*And it cannot be an entire series of something, that’s cheating.

Man, this is a tough one. I started looking at my shelves when I was thinking how to answer this question. I only keep the books I really, really love and would read again, so fortunately, I've already pared it down. However, how to pare it down even further?

It was a tough choice and it came down to two different books: Home to Harmony by Philip Gulley and Last Days of Summer by Steve Kluger. I have read both books multiple times and loved them both for different reasons, but ultimately I've decided to let Harmony burn and save Charlie and Joey.

Why? Well, basically because story is so rich emotionally, historically, humorously (or is that humorfully?), and touches on so many different themes that I can't imagine life without it. I read it twice last year, will definitely be reading it again this year, and have given it to tons of people to read and they've all loved it. Should we someday find ourselves in a Fahrenheit 451 type situation, it would probably be a radical choice, but I don't care about that. I love this book and all it has meant to me. And I love Harmony and all it has meant to me, and I would do my best to conceal it somehow otherwise for save keeping until I could come back for it. :-)

A quote from the book... This is kind of a challenge. There are a couple that stand out, one of which I won't include here because it is a spoiler if you have any plans to read it. I'll include one serious one and one funny one here for your edification.

Funny one:

"Janet: Bear in mind the following:

1. When pushed to the wall, our allies consist of the Board of Education and, in a pinch, Superintendent Meylan.

2. The boy's personal arsenal includes the National League, the entire Democratic Party, and God only knows who else.

In other words, dear, he's got us by the balls.

Send it to Washington. Let them handle it. If we're lucky, maybe they'll draft him."

Serious one:

"Everyone has something worth it inside of them, even if it doesn't show. Sometimes you have to look a little harder but don't give up. Otherwise all your going to see is a sorehead who plays 3d base."

Who to tag...

I'm going to tag my reading peeps: Manda, Lauren, Nicole, Cindy, and Amy.

Eric Idle

Last night, Melissa and I returned to Wolf Trap in triumph to see Eric Idle perform his new oratorio, Not the Messiah (He's a Very Naughty Boy), based on the Monty Python film, The Life of Brian. I can now say I've sung Always Look On the Bright Side of Life with Eric Idle, although there are thousands of other people who can say the same thing :-)

The show was fantastic. The soprano in particular could really sing the hell out of a song. It was witty, it was hilarious, it was inspired.

I took a couple of pictures which I will post tomorrow when I remember to bring my camera out of the car. But mostly I was just totally captivated. I am going to pop in my VHS of The Life of Brian this weekend and watch it again--Melissa already has.

For what other show are you going to see singing sheep, bagpipers, and a musical leaf blower in one place?

Here is a recent article about the piece: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080717/ap_en_ot/people_eric_idle_2

I really hope they turn it into a full out Broadway show. Melissa and I going to have to make it a point to see Spamalot now. We're going to keep our eyes out for it to come to DC again... I thought about seeing it in Las Vegas last year, but just ran out of time.

Interesting Python-related tidbits about me:

1. The first time I ever saw anything Monty Python, I was 22 years old. I rented Monty Python and the Holy Grail while I was living in Connecticut and working as a nanny. My computer was on the blink and in for repair and so I needed something to do and got a Blockbuster membership. I was prowling the shelves and decided that since I'd never seen Holy Grail, I'd take a crack at it. I nearly fell off the couch and wet my pants, I was laughing so hard.

2. When I lived in Little Rock, in order to economize, I didn't have cable, and I didn't even have rabbit ears for my TV. So I went to Suncoast Motion Picture to get some tapes to watch, and I wanted to get something that would give me a little bang for my buck. So I picked up one season of Flying Circus. It was a lovely little box set. And I fell in love. It was uproarious, no matter how many times I watched it.

Soon that one set turned to two, and then two to three. I would love to have the whole set on DVD. They were definitely awesome.

One of my favorite sketches was the one where Michael Palin is reporting on deja vu. "That most extraordinary feeling..." hehe

Seeing Eric Idle live, in person, was such a thrill. And he was HILARIOUS. I will share one little joke. He said, "If any of you acts up tonight and gets a bit naughty, I will jump off this stage and slap you, just like Amy Winehouse. Did you see that three weeks ago? She literally jumped off stage and hit someone in the audience. It was a literal case of the shit hitting the fan." :-)

Pictures tomorrow.

-------------------------------------------------

And with that, I've completed a triple threat, posting on all 3 blogs in one night. I am good. :-)

Memory MeMe Stolen From Amanda

I can take criticism, and realize some memories of me might not be the nicest. Sometimes the truth hurts. Hopefully one or two people have a fond memory of me.

1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn’t matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It’s actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I’ll assume you’re playing the game and I’ll come to your blog and leave one about you. If you don’t want to play on your blog, or if you don’t have a blog, I’ll leave my memory of you in my comments.

So there you go. What do you remember about me (whether in real life or on-line since many people reading this live exclusively in my computer)?

Knee Update

Well, it turns out I have something called patellar-femural syndrome and I'm developing arthritis. Years of extra weight, plus overcompensating for my weaker leg, plus driving have worn down my knee's cartilage and now my kneecap is trying to find itself a new home by sliding. It would also appear I may have been overdoing it slightly with my workout routine...

I saw the folks over at the clinic where I had my leg repaired, and I would seriously trust them with my life after the great job they did on my leg. I saw someone new today, and I really liked him, although it's clear that Sunshine is the star of the show. This guy looked just slightly beleaguered, kind of like "I dare you to be disappointed that I'm not Sunshine." But I was a good patient and let him poke around, even when I thought he was trying to kill me. Seriously? It HURT. Joe (the PA) even said, "You've got a lot of movement going on in there."

They took some x-rays to confirm it, showed me some diagrams that I really didn't understand very well, and then sent me across the hall to the physical therapy department. Fortunately, the place where I'm going to have my PT is only 2 streets over from here. Unfortunately, the earliest they can see me is a week from now. And until then, the most activity I'm allowed to engage in is to walk and possibly do water aerobics (fat chance, the Y here is too expensive to join if I'm not sure I'm going to stick with it). Otherwise, I have a few exercises to do daily to strengthen my knee, and I just have to wait for PT.

The good thing about doing WW is that they were very encouraged with my losing weight and taking some of the pressure off my knees. So an added benefit of all this is that my health, even though I'm in pain, is improving. Cool.

(Cross posted to Kate's Weight Blog)

Just for Fun

I was writing up my autobiography last night and I thought you all might like to see this.

This is the hospital where I was born almost 33 years ago. It is the smallest hospital in New York State, with a whopping 17 beds. My sister was one of the last babies born there. I had my tonsils out there, but by the time I was in high school they had quit doing surgeries there and it was mainly an emergency room, X-ray lab, and you could go in if you had pneumonia or something like that.

I was out taking a few pictures the day after The Wedding, so I thought I'd throw this one up here.

Sue's Reviews: Mamma Mia

I just got home from seeing Mamma Mia and I must say, it was much, much worse than expected. Since I expected it to be great, I have to say that I am totally and completely disappointed.

It has been so long since a movie has come out that I actually wanted to see. And this summer, there are quite a few out that I'm suddenly excited to see--one of which was Mamma Mia.

We got home and Lucas asked for a rundown of what was wrong with it. In a nutshell:

* The singing (Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan should never, ever open their mouths again)
* The acting (Colin Firth looked distinctly uncomfortable in his role at the end and at other times you could clearly see him thinking, "What am I doing? I'm one of the premiere actors in Britain!")
* The dancing
* The choreography
* The sets (apart from the fact that it was built into a hill, I can't honestly tell you what the place looked like, and at one point I leaned over and said, "I thought they were in Sweden?" to which Judy replied, "No, I think they're in Greece." Tell you anything?)
* The lighting
* The cinematography (during a scene in which some people are looking at old photos, the photos get cut off and are shown only for seconds once they are framed properly)
* The lip synching (several times, everyone was basically like "Screw the lip synching, let's just dance!" and let the music do the talking)
* It was quite raunchy, and not in a good way

The only thing that saved it was the audience. Two gay men in front of us were having the absolute time of our lives. After a particularly supposed-to-be-poignant seen where Meryl is singing "The Winner Takes It All" to Pierce, some people behind me actually started crying, and I just totally lost it. I busted out laughing and then tried to stifle my laughter and wound up laughing so hard I had tears streaming down my cheeks. So, I guess I can say it moved me to tears too.

There was a reviewer who said something about it being like a train wreck--gruesome and horrifying and you know you shouldn't be watching, but you can't tear yourself away. I'll liken our experience to that.

It was a round stinker. I am hoping and praying that The Dark Knight, The X Files, Swing Vote and Get Smart are better. Oh and I saw the preview for the new Ricky Gervais movie, which I don't know what exactly the title is, but it's about a dentist, and I am really looking forward to seeing that one. Nothing can be worse than this one, seriously.

What a Worm...

In plain English, there is no other word for him.

Runway Starts Tomorrow!?

It seems rather hot on the heels of the last season... But oh well, I don't care. I am SO EXCITED! I've just watched 2 previews and read through the description of this season--it's gonna be hot. Can't wait to watch what happens!

Adoption Update: Starting the Ball Rolling

The General and I attended an adoption 101 seminar in Richmond in June. We wanted to learn about the different types of adoption and hopefully meet some other people that were in the same boat as us.

It was a really great seminar, sponsored by RESOLVE, a national infertility resource center. We met other couples, social workers, an attorney, etc. and got tons of information and were able to make some decisions about how to proceed.

Ultimately, we've decided on a domestic adoption. The tides are turning against the US internationally, for reasons that I can't necessarily say I disagree with. Add in the fact that we're overweight and one of us has a disability, and it seemed like domestic adoption was the way to go. I spoke with a social worker while we were at the seminar, and got her card. I emailed her when we got back about getting the ball rolling when we got back from The Wedding, and we spoke on the phone this morning.

In other words, we're getting started. She's sending us some documentation to get ready and she'll be here to visit us on July 25th. Lara has sent me a copy of her homestudy and some books to read--one of which I devoured already--and it helped us understand what to expect and what to have prepared.

So, there are some things to do before Beth arrives.

The main one is to totally and completely gut the bunny room. TomTom on his own is a very clean rabbit. He's litter trained for peeing in a litter box, he keeps his food in his cage, etc. However, at one point, we were housing 5 rabbits in there, and he got a little territorial. And before I had the bunnies trained, they laid waste to the room. The carpet needs to be torn up. The walls need a good scrubbing. We need new flooring and to touch up the trim and closet doors.

We're starting this weekend.

If anyone out there has any experience installing laminate flooring or is interested in helping with painting, I'd love to hear from you :-) I will happily offer you compensation in the form of pizza and beer. You can drop me an email at s u s a n k ( a t ) m k o s i o r ( d o t ) c o m.

I am excited and terrified... But after 6 years of uncertainty, it feels so good to take a step forward.

I don't think I have it within me to start another new blog, so this blog will be your chief source of information for the latest. And thank you so much to all who have lent their ears, tissues, and support over the past 3 months. It has really meant the world to me.

Fearless Fourteen

I bought it Wednesday and finished it this morning...

I'll be honest. When it was done, I wept. I actually shed tears. The book really got back to the fun and fabulousness of Stephanie Plum and Janet Evanovich (I was not a big fan of Plum Lucky). And now I'm sad because it's over and done with and I won't have another one for however long it takes her to write 15.

With the conclusion of this book, I've now read 63 books this year. In addition to the 44 already listed in my previous post (click reading selections to the right if you want to see those), I've completed:

• Jesus Land by Julia Scheres
  
• The Sex Lives of Cannibals by J. Maarten Troost
  
• The Year of Secret Assignments by Jaclyn Moriarty
  
• The Book of Fred by Abby Bardi
  
• If I Am Missing or Dead by Jeanne Latus
  
• Blackbird House by Alice Hoffman
  
• Take It Back by James Carville and Paul Begala
  
• Come Back: A Mother's Journey Through Hell and Back by Claire and Mia Fontaine
  
• Eat, Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
  
• On the Road by Jack Kerouac
  
• The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
  
• Miss American Pie: A Diary of Love, Secrets, and Growing up in the 1970's by Margaret Sartor
  
• Bel Canto by Ann Patchett
  
• The Rest of Her Life by Laura Moriarty
  
• Playing for Pizza by John Grisham
  
• The Broker by John Grisham
  
• R is for Ricochet by Sue Grafton
  
• Secret Thoughs of an Adoptive Mother by Jana Wolff
  
• Fearless Fourteen by Janet Evanovich
  

This year I seem to be reading A LOT of memoirs. So far, I've read 20 memoirs or autobiographies. I've also been reading some classics, like A Tree Grows in Brooklyn and The Bell Jar, neither of which I had read before and both of which I loved.

It's been a great year for reading. The only downside is that I have not kept up with my book club reading 100%, but I've been reading enough of each book that I'm able to participate in the discussions and enjoy the meetings. It's summer, and I don't want to read anything heavy, although right now I'm reading Persian Girls by Nahid Rachlin and it's a very good, very fast read, but not exactly light.

So that's where I'm at... I haven't been keeping strict track of the numbers, and I've only been doing little reviews on my Good Reads, but they are good enough to make me remember why I liked or didn't like certain books.

And for the record, if you're hungry, do not read Playing for Pizza. Honestly, I wanted to hop a plane to Italy and eat until I exploded.

Happy page turning!

What's the joke?

The joke was kinda not that interesting, but here it is...

My husband refuses to smile on command. He says he can't. And for some reason, he REALLY couldn't on Friday. We have certain cutesy words that usually make him smile, but even that wasn't working. So I finally said, "Will you just smile already!?" and he bared his teeth like a rabid dog. We all started laughing and even he cracked a smile.

So that's it... But it's such a happy picture, probably one of my three favorites from the entire event. If you want to see more, go to my flickr at http://www.flickr.com/photos/katekosior

It Was...

...a very special day and a very interesting trip...

Fun Movie Night

Last night Michael and I sat down to watch a movie together. I wanted to pick one I thought he'd love, and with the price of gas and the price of groceries and living in the DC area and all its attendant stresses, I selected an oldie but goodie I hadn't seen in a while: Falling Down.

For anyone who hasn't seen it, Michael Douglas plays Bill, a Defense Department employee in California who is having a seriously bad day. And he goes on a little rampage, beating up gang members, trashing a convenience store, etc.

Recently, I"ve had a bit of a beef with my local food stores. The quality of the food I am buying is not up to par. I went grocery shopping on Monday, threw some meat in the freezer, defrosted it on Friday, and it was rotten. This happened two weeks ago with meat from a different grocery store. The produce is all soft and has funny spots on it, it's about impossible to find a decent green pepper, and I'm not shopping at Bottom Dollar here, people. I'm shopping at higher end stores (Giant, Super Target).

The prices are crazy too. So when Bill walked into the convenience store and proceeded to put the smackdown on the inventory that was overpriced, I was cheering and laughing my head off. When he got out of his car and left it sitting in a construction-created traffic jam (which I got stuck in at 10:00 at night on Wednesday!), I applauded. When he shot up a fast food chain for giving substandard product, I was on his side.

Unfortunately, the movie kind of has an unsatisfactory ending for me, but for anyone who is kinda pissed at the way things are right now, this movie is a welcome diversion. :-) Michael loved it too.

Wolf Trap Magic

Last night, the General and I went on a little date night to Wolf Trap. This year marks 15 years since the first time I heard and fell in love with the dulcet tones of Kenny G's saxophone and saw him in concert for the first time, so when I found out he was coming to Wolf Trap, I decided what better time to go see him again? Plus, he hardly ever comes to DC, instead playing various jazz festivals and such. The closest one here is in Maryland, and I don't do Maryland--Maryland is what I have to drive through to get home.

So anyway, I got the General and me some premium tickets--13 rows back in the orchestra, and I was ready to roll. Told my dad we were going, since he had first taken me to see him that balmy June of '93 as a present for graduating high school. My dad remembered a lot more about the concert than I did, including that Kenny strolls the audience a few times during his shows.

So we get there around 7:30 (the show was at 8:00) and I parked the General on a wall while we waited for them to open the amphitheater so I could go up to the top of the hill to get a program. I climb up there and get on line at the little souvenir booth and I about wet my pants. Kenny G himself was manning the souvenir stand.

Well, I couldn't let the General miss this one. I ran back down the hill and asked the General if he wanted to meet Kenny G. Of course he did! So together we trucked back up the hill (Thanks, Weight Watchers, without you, I would have surely perished!) and got on line at the stand. We bought a CD and he came over, greeted us, we greeted him back, he signed our CD's and we went back down the hill. I was like, "OK, this is living."

Seriously, I about floated. So we get in to the concert and it's going great, he's playing all his old hits, playing some stuff off his new album, and then he started playing my favorite song "The Joy of Life". I love this song, and the strange thing is, the first time I heard it was when my grandfather died. But it's always been a favorite and in fact, we used it on our wedding CD.

So this was the moment for him to come off stage and start playing to the people and it was like literally watching the Pied Piper. Wherever he went, swarms of people crowded towards him. Well, I was in seat M1, right on the aisle, 13 rows back from the stage. When he started playing "The Joy of Life", I couldn't help myself, I jumped to my feet and started dancing. And when he finally came to our side, I stepped into the aisle and he stood there as I danced, bobbed the sax in my direction a few times and kept on going... So yeah, I danced with Kenny G last night.

Unfreakin' believable. I didn't think about a single damned thing going on in my life while I was there last night--it was the best. That music has seen me through the worst moments of my existence. Awesome.

Magic

I'll elaborate further in the morning when I'm not completely and utterly exhausted, but tonight was magic... I'm on cloud nine, and I'm not sure I'll come down any time soon... Just what I needed...

MeMe'd by Lauren

So, Lauren tagged me on her blog to do a meme. Here we go...

The rules: Each player answers the questions about themselves. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.

What was I doing ten years ago?
June 2008, I was working in Connecticut as a nanny. My parents were preparing to separate and a month later I would move home for a year to be with my mom.

What are five (non-work) things on my to-do list for today:
1. Go shopping for the shower
2. Make dinner
3. Meet Jacalyn
4. Fold towels
5. Fill out this meme

5 Snacks I enjoy:
* It's summer time and last night I ate my first peach of 2008. The word that sprang to mind was "Glorious". I'm eating some now. I don't like 'em canned or frozen, but you can't beat a fresh peach.
* Chocolate--especially Lindt truffles
* Ice cream
* Cheddar and Sour Cream baked Lays
* Chips and salsa

Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
First thing I'd do is quit my job. I would be on the phone with every adoption agency in a 10 state radius lining up my brood.

Then, I'd set about to create an affordable planned community in this area full of regular sized homes and lots of trees, just right for people who don't need a McMansion and just want a quiet, safe, comfortable place to live and raise their kids.

And then I'd travel the world with the Jolie-Pitts, being a gracious humanitarian around the globe.

Places I have lived:
(In chronological order, though I'm not adding anything in twice)
Star Lake, NY
Oswegatchie NY
Riverdale NY
New Canaan CT
Provo UT
Guilford CT
Allston MA
North Little Rock AR
Brighton MA
Acton MA
Centreville VA
Fredericksburg VA


Jobs I have had:
Babysitter
Camp counselor
Nanny
Assistant camp director
Television and radio transcriber
Substitute teacher
Subway Sandwich artist
Tutor
Rehabilitation teacher for the blind

Ok, time to tag 5 people. I'm going to tag:

Russell, Seraphim, Annette, Melissa, and Nicole. :-) Have fun.

Lengthy Thoughts on Infertility

I started to think this afternoon that I was maybe going a little bit crazy. I spent most of yesterday and all day today crying. It got the point when someone would ask me if something was wrong, I would say, "No, I think my eyes are leaking" and then I'd go hide.

So tonight, I got home and I googled "The pain of infertility" and read a bunch of stuff. And I realized that nothing I'm going through is new.

Some of the more interesting pieces I read:

An article from Glamour Magazine which made the following points:

I know. I should not care about Katie or Angelina or Gwyneth. I should concentrate on my own wellness and nurture hope for the future. Should, yes. The problem is, the frenzy over pregnant celebrities is only one symptom of a larger phenomenon that—for fertile and infertile women alike—is nearly impossible to ignore: The world has become baby obsessed. “What we’re witnessing in our culture is a rampaging, almost hysterical fixation on pregnancy and babies and how having them will transform your life and allow you to reach nirvana,” says Susan J. Douglas, Ph.D., professor of communication studies at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor and coauthor of The Mommy Myth. “For infertile women, it’s like a giant megaphone of guilt and shame.”

“You cannot escape the pressure to have a baby, not anywhere you look. The barrage is suffocating,” says Sabrina Paradis, 36, of New York City, who once cried when she opened her mailbox to find an unsolicited catalog for Pottery Barn Kids. “If you’re infertile,” she says, “the ideal would be to disappear off the face of the earth for a while and then come back pregnant.”

To Sabrina, to me, to anyone who’s dealt with infertility, baby mania appears magnified. “Women going through infertility are in so much pain, they’re sensitive to any reminder of what they want and can’t have,” says Alice Domar, Ph.D., author of Conquering Infertility and founder of the Domar Center for Complementary Healthcare in Waltham, Massachusetts.

Infertility is very, very lonely. Every woman in my close circle of friends has children, and none struggled to get pregnant. I’ve actually put myself into infertility quarantine, distancing myself from some friends—bless them for understanding—and asking a couple of them (nicely, I hope) to take me off their seemingly near-daily dispatches of baby photos. I have trained myself to look away from pregnant bellies and speed by the local smarty-pants kids’ bookstore and hip-yet-crunchy children’s clothing shops in my neighborhood.

The heartbreak that infertile women deal with is not a new phenomenon, I know. Surely my great-aunt Bessie felt, as I often do, that she’d failed as a woman or let her husband down as a wife (mine is quick to reassure me otherwise). But what’s new now is the strength, and number, of forces that can make the hurt worse.

For infertile women, the obsession with pregnant celebrities is excruciating on many levels. “I get frustrated and angry with all the stars who I feel are ‘unfit,’ or at least questionable, parents,” admits Ashley White, 28, of Durham, New Hampshire, “Britney Spears driving around with a baby on her lap? Not fair! I would never endanger a baby like that! I’ve wanted this for as long as I can remember, I can’t get pregnant—and she gets two?!”

For the entire article, visit http://www.glamour.com/health/feature/articles/2006/07/31/infertility06sep?currentPage=6

I hadn't meant to c/p that much of it, but so much of it fits with how I'm feeling.

A snippet from The Adoption Guide really, really put it into words for me:

Infertility is a prolonged shriek of pain that makes no sound. It is the woman who averts her eyes each time she passes a baby in a stroller, wells up at the sight of a diaper ad, goes numb when a friend announces that she’s pregnant.

An article in the UK's Observer states:

It is weirdly easy for people with children to write rather blithely about childlessness. It is oddly common for men and women, whose own lives have been changed by becoming parents, to think that infertility doesn't matter that much; it's just one of those things. Life's unfair.

When I raised the question of costs with Professor Winston, infertility guru and New Labour peer, he responded furiously, saying it was 'stupid, fatuous'. 'Infertility,' he says, 'is like a pain in the chest. It is a symptom of something wrong. It covers a range of problems; it might be genetic; it might cause a miscarriage; it might be something serious or trivial.'

'Do you have any idea at all,' he asks, 'of the pain that infertility causes? What cruelty leads us to label it a lifestyle choice?'

And for those of us who've managed - been randomly lucky - a certain complacency sets in. I think that many women, even those who conceive naturally and swiftly, feel the little shudder of doubt and dread as they wait for the period they don't want. But we forget it - just as we later manage to forget the pain of giving birth - and the thought of infertility quickly blows away, a little ripple of cold wind. For whereas cancer (or strokes or heart attacks or BSE or a bolt of lightning out of a blue sky) might always be waiting round the next corner, waiting to ambush us, infertility only matters during a certain passage of our life, and after we give birth becomes something that we do not need to fear or think about.

Yet for men and women trying to have a baby, the clock ticks like a time bomb. It ticks away their hopes. The year is divided brutally into periods. The mood swings between hope and despair, hope and despair. Around them, they see pregnant women, babies in prams. They see the birth of the future. They feel they are outcasts from the only life that they really wanted and that other people so easily have. They deserve to be listened to.

Some words from a pastor who struggled infertility with his wife:

Grief is a real part of infertility. It may be heightened in miscarriages or stillbirths, but it is just as real when a couple cannot conceive. The sorrow Kerrie and I experienced the day we received our lab results was as deep as the grief we would have felt if she had called to tell me her parents had passed away.

Scripture confirms the close connection between the two losses. Proverbs 30:15-16 tells us the grave and the barren woman are two things that are never satisfied. The sense of loss from infertility will frequently resurface whenever life situations – such as a menstrual cycle or the birth of a child to another couple – trigger painful feelings of the opportunities lost.

Ehow.com has an excellent list of things to think about and do to help yourself with the grieving process of infertility. For more information please visit this informative article: http://www.ehow.com/how_2205394_grieve-infertility-losses.html

What really got me about the article was the part which read:

Identify your losses. Take some time to think about the infertility losses that you have experienced. Some of those losses include the loss of experiencing pregnancy, the loss of connection with friends who have experienced pregnancy and the loss of a child with your eyes and your husband's nose.

What I feel sad about is that even if my husband and I adopt, we will miss our child's first breath, the first time he/she opens his/her eyes, their first cry, their first blanket, their first article of clothing. We may miss their first smile or their first word or the first time they roll over or the first time they crawl. We will not pass down our superior genes. When people say, "Well, you can always adopt" they don't think of these things. I crave that experience of feeling my child kicking me from the inside out, and I will never have it. And I do feel myself distancing myself from friends who have become pregnant. It's too painful. I shut down in their presence. I don't want to look at ultrasound pictures and listen to the names you've picked out. I don't want to hear your pet names for your fetus. I most definitely do not want to hear you complaining about being pregnant. I would endure years of morning sickness if it meant at the end of the day I would have a baby of my own in my arms.

A woman shared a few thoughts on her own experience with infertility:

Grief - now that’s interesting - I find not many people give me credit for experiencing grief. How can you grieve for something you’ve never had? I am grieving for something I’ve never had; for lost hopes and dreams.

I find that my grief is cyclical on a monthly basis - not surprisingly! Calendars and counting become a way of life, making sure you make love during the critical time - very romantic!

Shower parties - I’ve been to a few. Pre-infertility I didn’t have much fun there - too many mothers telling you their horrific birth stories with relish - seeking out the uninitiated! Post-infertility? Well, I only went to one for a very close friend who knows my situation. She was filled with incredulity at what I had to experience there, putting herself in my shoes for a moment. I don’t blame those who don’t know about me, as they wax lyrical about all things pre- and post-partum, but the silence of those who do know is hard to bear.

At times it is difficult for me to feel excited at future plans for things happening at work or church - it just doesn’t seem as important as having a child.

Anyway, that's about all I'm going to say here on this blog about all this. This is intensely personal and I want to respect my husband's feelings as well as my own. I know so many people are only trying to help, but the worst things you can say to me at this point are, "The doctors are often wrong..." (yes, because I've been through all this for all this time and I want to keep believing in something that is obviously not going to work so I can keep on driving myself crazy) and "You're going to make a great aunt" (I don't want to be an aunt, I want to be a mother, thank you very much!), and "Well, you can look for other experiences in life besides having children" (this one has me in tears just writing it, I don't even know how to respond to this one) and "Well, there are other options" (yes, I am aware of that, and yes, we will look into it, but wouldn't it be nice not to have to pay some bureaucrat 20,000 dollars for the privilege of a child? Wouldn't it be nice not to have to worry how my husband's disabilities or our crappy carpet affect our chances?). Oh, and my personal favorite, "I'm so sorry, I don't know what I'd do without my children." (Yes, rub it in my face, thanks.)

Anyway, that's all from here.

I Just Wanna Say...

It's official...

We got tickets thanks to my good pal Melissa and her magical Amex card. :-)

Hell yeah. HELL YEAH.

My goal is to wear my old Jonathan Knight T-shirt to this concert on 10/12.

Will it happen? Hell if I know... I have to find it first.

But I am oh so excited.

NKOTB Coming to DC

Who's with me?

It's official: the pre-sale begins tomorrow at 11:00AM. I don't have an AmEx card, so I'll have to wait to get tickets till next Sunday... But I'm gettin' 'em and I'm going!

Anyone else want to go? They'll be here on 10/2 at the Verizon Center. I'll buy the group tickets if you swear to reimburse me :)

Fun on YouTube

Jacalyn and I are having fun on YouTube tonight, and I ran across this. File it under "Before They Were Famous".

The New Toys are Here

Holy man, are the new washer and dryer nice. WOW. I practically flew home today, just wanting to get home and do the laundry.

It is SO NICE that they are up off the floor and we don't have to bend over to get stuff out of the dryer. Nor do we have to half crawl into the washing machine to get stuff out of it.

And quiet? Oh yeah. So quiet that I took the phone in the laundry room tonight and talked on it while the washer was going. And my dad couldn't hear the machines at all.

I'm so glad we got the pedestals--the drawers are deep and hold so much. I cleaned out the little cabinet we had in there and we have room to spare.

We did two loads of laundry tonight--the "work clothes" and the sheets. Both were long overdue. The w/d now have Braille labels on them, a W for "work clothes" and an E for "everything else". The only trouble (if you want to call it that) we ran into was trying to measure detergent so high up on top of the machines. So we've rectified that by measuring near the sink and then walking the detergent over. I think we have the capacity for spillage regardless, so I'm still working on a solution. I was happy that Tide makes the same scent and type of detergent as we were using with the old washer for the new one.

As for the old washer, I suppose it has gone the way of all good things. The dryer was picked up by a dude called Ed, who came last night. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it, but after we got it outside, he literally picked that thing up singlehandedly and lifted it up and over the side of his utility trailer and settled it right in. I was happy he got it--he mentioned that he and his wife have a young one at home who goes through a LOT of clothing and their dryer had gone out on them. Freecycling feels so good. And he swapped us 2 dozen fresh eggs off his farm for it. I don't know what I'll do with them, but I tell you one thing: those eggs are BEAUTIFUL. All different colors. I need to take a picture of them. They're gorgeous.

This weekend should be pretty quiet. I refuse, REFUSE, to think about work. Seriously, the most demanding people have been riding my rear end today. I had one lady call me because every time her magnifier breaks, a teacher has always gone to help her put it back together. So I offered to go tomorrow morning at 9am and she didn't want me to come that early. So I said, "Ok, I can come next Wednesday then." Well that didn't suit her either. so finally, I just had to say "9am tomorrow or Wednesday morning, I don't have any other times available to you." Suddenly tomorrow morning looked real good. Another guy keeps on calling me about his merchandise, when is his merchandise going to arrive? Well, look here, pal, it's not like I'm a dealer. I put the order in, it gets here when it gets here. So I've dug around in my stash and I'm just going to get rid of some stuff and replace it later. And then I had another woman calling me--she got lost taking her mom to the doctor on Tuesday and they missed their appointment. And she only has off on Mondays (which are my office days and I'm not on the road) and so she wants to go on a Monday. I patiently explain that I cannot go on a Monday, but she's insistent, so I'm like "I'll see what I can do." and hang up. I fully intended to call the doctor on Monday to set it up, but she calls back 3 hours later and demands to know why she hasn't heard from me.

Ummmm, let's see here. In addition to opening 2 cases today, I have to finish all the clean-up paperwork from the seminar we had last week. I don't have time right now. I will call on Monday. "Well we need to know" blah blah blah. FINE. So I call the eye doctor's office and lo and behold, the doctor does not see patients on Mondays.

So, I pushed the appointment back a week anyway to give myself a little breathing room and now she's going on June 25th. But that actually works out better for her since she can have more time to rearrange her work schedule. Despite the fact that I offered to drive her mother myself so she wouldn't have to take time off.

My caseload currently stands at 52. My boss has offered to look at the situation yet again. If I just had a couple days to get my paperwork in hand, I could probably deal with it better. Unfortunately this seminar really threw a wrench in the works.

I'm really ready to just throw my hands in the air and say, "Let the chips fall where they may, I'm finished." Unfortunately, we have bills to pay. And I kinda like my house.

So we'll have to see. Hopefully things will ease off a bit.

On the plus side, LOST was frigging AWESOME tonight. Did anyone watch? Anyone want to chat?? Holy cow. I don't know how I'll wait for the next season. Amazing.

When it Rains, It Pours

So last night, Michael decides to do the laundry, which is cool, seeing as it's his job and all. Only, when he starts, a cool puddle of water starts seeping from the washer.

Not good.

So we call a repairman, who comes over today and charges us 60 dollars for the privilege of telling us that our washing machine's main seal has "shit the bed" (as they so quaintly say in New England), and we might as well buy a new washer.

Fortunately, this was a good time to buy appliances--every major store was having appliance sales this weekend.

We decided to go high efficiency and do our part to save the environment, plus, if I am not mistaken, the washing machine is eligible for a tax deduction.

Unfortunately for us, however, the majority of the displays are digital! And that is not going to fly with the General doing the laundry around here.

We finally found a Bosch w/d set, high efficiency, the price was right, and had accessible controls. So we snapped them up along with the pedestals so no more bending down :) They arrive on Thursday.

I'm so excited to get them. At least temporarily, I might actually fight the General to do the laundry :)

Oh What the Hell...

Everyone else is doing it. I might as well jump off the bridge too.

This morning, I roused myself out of bed at 6:00am and at 6:30 stepped through the front doors of my first Weight Watchers meeting. It was slightly terrifying and the group leader was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much of a morning person, but they managed to make me laugh, which was good considering where I'm starting from and where I'm looking at going even for my initial 10% goal.

I'm sitting here debating between the core and the points business. I'm leaning towards the points only because it feels a bit more structured and I feel like I need some structure. On the other hand, the muffin I am eating for breakfast just turned out to be 5 points. But at least, I get to eat a muffin.

I think it's probably going to be tremendously boring for you all to listen to me blog about being on Weight Watchers, so I'll just keep a little running total to the side somewhere when I begin to REMOVE weight, not lose it (the instructor says we always start looking for what we lose). And we'll see how it goes. My mind is a whirlwind "But I have book club!" "but I have Judy's wedding reception!"

Yeah, but I also have the whole rest of my life to live. And I'd like to see it last a while.

So wish me luck. I officially start tomorrow with the counting and portioning and so forth.

Still Alive, But Just Barely Hangin' In!

So, work is kicking my ass, handing it to me to hold, and kicking it again.

We were informed last year that we had to have a conference in the coming fiscal year for senior citizens. The conference, we decided, would be the week before Memorial Day so we could use Memorial Day weekend to relax and recover. Well, this week is the week before Memorial Day. The conference is upon us.

So due to some of the personalities involved, I offered to coordinate the whole thing. I can't really comment publicly on it too much, but let's just say that the entire rehabilitation team is just this side of completely freakin' insane to begin with, and then we look at the component parts and just scratch our heads.

Well, so I figured if we wanted it done right, I should probably do it. Which has left the rest of my team thinking like Alfred E. Neuman.



Yesterday we went and did a lot of the supply shopping we needed to do, and there is still more to do on Monday, but I'm not participating in that, because I don't need groceries, since I am signed up to teach flower arranging. However, we had a marathon run in with WalMart trying to establish our tax exempt status, we had a hell of a time trying to work out the schedule so that everyone was happy, then we discover that the program coordinator for the state has decided to come up for the entire thing, we have to finalize catering, we have to go to the site where we're holding this shindig to get set up, and everyone else is like "Meh, it'll get done."

In the meantime, my new referrals are mounting like the national debit--I am currently 7 behind in openings, and just got 6 new referrals from Richmond. I have about 10 closures to do. And the week after this conference, I will spend every single day driving to Charlottesville for eye doctor appointments. Meanwhile, I have clients breathing down my neck, "Why haven't I seen you?" "where's my equipment?" "What's the hold up?" "Why is this taking so long?"

There are currently 60 of you and there is 1 of me. That's why it is taking so long.

So in short, I have no idea when the hell I'm going to get my paperwork done, when the hell I'm going to get things ordered, which is only going to back me up that much further and life is hell right now at work.

Downtime on the weekends? Hahahahahaha In addition to helping my sister with her wedding, I am busy putting furniture together, meeting with people to do some repairs to our house, attempting to meet up with friends who must think I hate them any more, and of course grocery shopping, car inspection, runs to the dump, cooking, taking care of the rabbit, and trying to coordinate our annual summer getaway plans.

Now throw into the mix that The General and I have just found out that we can't have babies, my sister who never wanted to have kids has found out she is having a baby, every other woman I know is pregnant or has a baby, and as a friend recently suggested to me rather pointedly, no one seems to give a flying f*** about this fact... Add in the fact that the dentist is now calling because there is a foul up with our dental somewhat-insurance and they want to straighten it out or want some money, and I'm just to a point where it's like, here's where we separate the girls from the women and I'm not so sure I want to be a woman any more.

It's all just adding up. I'm not sleeping. Last night, I fell asleep at 1:30 and I was up this morning at 6:00. The night before, I got roughly 4 hours of sleep. I think I am losing my ability to see the forest for the trees here.

The one bright spot in all of this is that I have a phone interview on Monday. I hope it goes well and leads to an in-person interview. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

So hopefully after a couple of weeks, I will be back to running the streets again like always and until then, I will beg patience. I want to wish Russell and Mrs. good luck on Weight Watchers--I'm just catching up on that happening--and Nicole luck on her new house and Lauren luck with her gym schedule and Cindy luck with Alex being under the weather and Jacalyn luck on finding her camera and Annette luck on getting unburied from work too, and everyone else luck with anything they might need. I'm not ignoring you, I promise, I just need to unbury myself for a couple of more weeks... :)