Monday, September 15, 2008

Yard Saling

This Saturday is our first attempt at holding a yard sale since moving here. We are attempting to raise some much needed capital for the adoption fees. I don't know how the hell we're going to get it all set up--we have a bunch of junk already and no real tables or anything to put stuff on. Judy and Lucas will be coming down to help out with it, but if anyone else is free on Saturday and wants to take pity on me, please feel free to drop over :) And also if you have any "stuff" you want to get rid of and don't mind donating, please let me know. You can either bring it over or I can try to pick it up tomorrow or Wednesday. I'll be in Fairfax tomorrow and Wednesday mornings and in Fredericksburg tomorrow and Wednesday evenings. Thursday evening I am committed to picking up a futon and mattress from Judy and Lucas's place, thus signaling the end of my Sunday stayovers, as "my" bed is up for sale on Saturday and I'll have nowhere to sleep over there. The end of an era... Sad, but happy...

Anyway, anything we don't sell will be offered on Freecycle first and then we'll donate whatever's left to the local Hospice thrift store. So your goodies and mine will all go to a great cause regardless of what happens to it!

The sale is Saturday from 9:00AM till ???

(X-Posted to BRB blog)

10 pearl(s) of wisdom:

manda said...

Honey Chil. 9am is WAY too late to start a yard sale. I'll try to scrimp up some stuff to sale, but there ain't much as we've been selling everything that ain't nailed down. I have a hot tub for sale. If you pimp me a buyer, I'll give 10% to the adoption fund.

manda said...

er... to sell.

Talmadge said...

Yeah .... the time to start a yard sale is, ohhhhhh .... my almanac is not in reach, what time is sunrise in your area?

Beware of the YSQs, as I call them. (Y)ard (S)ale (Q)ueens -- many of who always seem to chain-smoke and have leathery skin, who possess a divine right to challenge any prices, no matter how reasonable or downright cheap.

Give in, and you'll find that same item in their flea mall booth for three times what you paid for it ... or on e-Bay.

Hey, it takes MONEY and lots of it to support an addiction to cigarettes and slot machines.

nettiemac said...

Yeah to what they said. Most YS's around here start at 7:00 AM.

And the YSQ's will bargain with you like an Arab trader. They will talk you into the lowest price possible, look at your quality merchandise as though it were constructed by 2-year-olds or a pack of orangutans, and will try to talk you into adding something for FREE if you're gonna charge THAT much for THAT ... thing!

And they'll call you "Sugar" a lot too. Or "Honey" or something else nice to try to make you lower the price. Tell 'em you're now hip to their little ploy and it's not going to work. The guestroom TV is still going for 50 bucks and not a penny less. BWAAAAAAH!

Kate/Susan said...

I have to have it later due to my WW meeting, which I don't get home from till 7:45am. So by the time that wraps up, I'll need time to get everything set up and be prepared. I'm kind of freaking out about the time though. Maybe I should just weigh in and skip the meeting?

nettiemac said...

Well, some of those YSQ's can go all day long, ya know! :D And at least it won't be boiling hot this weekend, so 9:00 might work fine (stay for your meeting!) :D

Seraphim9 said...

Perhaps there is someone who could "stand in" for you until you return from your WW meeting? Have Mike there by their side to make the "negotiations" so they won't worry about underselling something. :-)

Talmadge said...

Personally, I wouldn't mind a 9 AM yard sale. I don't like getting up early on Saturdays unless I'm going out of town.

Schedule of a YSQ on Saturday:
4:15 AM = Wake up.
[insert gratuitous Dunkin "Time to make the doughnuts..." joke]
4:15:20 = Hop out of bed to seize the day.
4:15:45 = Start coffee.
4:15:55 = Light up first cigarette.
4:25 = Drink coffee, smoke two more Bel-Air Menthols.
4:45 = Hop into the shower (optional)
4:59:50 = With list of yard sales printed out the night before, HIT THE ROAD, AUDREY ... IT'S YARD SALE TIME!!

By 9 AM, your vehicle is filled with the fruits of your jew-down labors, and now it's time for breakfast. But first:

9:00:15 = Light up cigarette #20.

9:00:18 = Onward toward Keller's Flea Market with this morning's booty.

9:07 = Oops, out of Bel-Airs. Stop at Enmark for two cartons.

9:30 = Breakfast time. You're Bonnie Jean's favorite customer at the Waffle House.

10:15 = Leave Waffle House. Light up ciggy #33.

[11:00 AM - 5:00 PM = At the flea mall]

5:05 = Leave flea mall with this week's take. $472.15, which ain't bad on top of the $124.75 you paid out, less $68 for the cigarettes (read: conned decent homeowners who just want to make a decent sum for their cast-offs).

5:05:01 = But first, light up cigarette #58

With 279.40 net profit, make a beeline for the casino boat off Wilmington Island.

7:30 - 9:30 PM = Make small talk with other YSQs, compare notes, smoke half a carton of Bel-Airs.

9:45 = Win small jackpot on slots.

12:30 (or thereabouts) = Strut off boat, with pockets $700 richer.

12:34:18 = Start car.

12:34:22 = Light up a....

Oh no. Enmark is closed.

Thank gawd for Chu's.

1:15 = Back home. One last cigarette (#96), then hit the hay.

Only 6 more days 'till you get to do it again!

nettiemac said...

SNORT!!! Tal, that KILLED me!!!!

Kate/Susan said...

Best comment ever.